masterwordsmith-unplugged

Thanks to Nick who wrote the following post on Top 20 Signs that tell you  that you’re in Malaysia when:


Your keep hearing suggestions to change your lifestyles (spending wise) coming from a minister whenever the government wants to raise the price of petrol.

You learnt that the word “Rationalization” better explain the act of increasing the price of basic necessities rather than the word “PRICE INCREASE or Barang Naik” (Huh? Explain it to me again! ).

You keep hearing that the price of fuel after rationalization, is actually lower than those enjoyed by the neighbouring countries. (Three increases annually and we are still cheaper? Is it dirt cheap to begin with?)

You used to go to mamak stall or a kopitiam and especially the local pub to hear tall tales and incredulous stories. Nowadays you just have to read the local dailies and the evening news.

Electricity rate increase by The National Power are implemented to ensure it enjoys maximum profit and NOT to stave it from falling into the red. (The same goes for the Highway operators as well. (But then, if they are facing bankruptcy – are we supposed to rescue them with our money too? I must be too stupid to understand this logic!).

Fuel prices always raises in tandem with world market price but whenever there is a decrease in the global oil prices, there’s no reduction and the government is quiet like a mouse. (Aiyah, do have to change my lifestyle again kah??)

You can create your own FB page without paying someone else a single cent and yet the government paid RM 1.8 million to “someone” to do it. (I wonder who was that “someone” laughing all the way to the bank?)

A nationwide campaign was launched to provide EVERY student with their own Netbook but neglected to remember that all classroom in the country only have 2 power outlets each. (Welcome to the world of bizarre and unexplained phenomenon where students are supplied with a hand cranking devices with utilizes a bicycle tyres and a dynamo to provide power for their netbooks…Just kidding!).

The only honest and actual news reporting in the evening news on TV is the weather forecast. (Sadly we didn’t have paparazzi type of girls presenting the weather otherwise we would have a nation well verse in metrological foreplay ..err.. I mean forecasting).

The thing that is true and factual in the local dailies are 4d numbers and the horse race results. (There are at least some truth in those paper after all. Otherwise they would only be fit for toilet paper).

Old and over the hill politicians are made minister and for one ministry, it could also include the ICT portfolio. (Ok, let’s change mode! BTW anything that has numbers and decimal points are connected to those despicable Anonymous Hacker group, I think?? Damn, the gerbil on the wheel is slow today…maybe I need a Viagra!).

Submarines bought by the government that is worth billions and billions of RM are not capable of submerging. No one was at fault or have taken responsibility or taken to task and by the way, the sub still can’t swim..err.. submerge! (Has anyone seen the manual??? No? What is a manual???)

Everyone goes to the police station to place a police report on political issues and on political parties but NOT as often to report crime or to seek protection. (One could be thrown in jail for reporting a crime. Remember the reporter who was placed under ISA for her own protection?).

The communist insurgents were defeated decades ago but curiously enough the ancient law passed by the Parliament to fight them is still being used. (China and Vietnam is our enemy now? Where’s that IA when you need him?)

Gambling is forbidden to Muslims but how come some are allowed to be directors and shareholders in those gambling companies? (Huh? Run that by me again!).

Organizing and holding a rally to press for clean and fair election are deemed anarchist and traitorous not to mention subversive elements BUT a Malay supremacist NGO threatening violence and rioting is just an expression of freedom of speech. (No need to add anything here!)

You see the people appeal for the reduction of cost of living and the government reply with a stupid remarks such as “Don’t use a car, use the public transport instead” or “The people need to change their lifestyles”. (Instead of eating 3 times a day I should only have a meal every other day, is that it?).

Military spending of billions wins over the cost of subsidies that cost the government extra hundreds of millions only. (Does the government know that billions is more than millions or are they like Dr Evil who thinks billions is much much more than a trillion?).

The lay people would rather believe the opposition politician than take the word of a fool..err..full minister of Communication. P.S.- They say evolution has made humans masters of the planet but I think it is likely he was born before the process started).

The people are embarrassed of their government but the government doesn’t realized that they are embarrassing themselves. Really, a million youths assembled to defend Putrajaya??? More like thousands of them coming to watch Korean popstar group and ignoring the PM altogether.

Written by Nick and sent to me via email.

So, tell me again - what sort of country are we living in today?