Murphy's Law for Life

Posted by M ws On Tuesday, August 21, 2012 0 comments

  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  • He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  • A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
  • Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  • I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted; then used against you.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • Remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
  • If you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.
  • If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
  • You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
  • Latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75 percent of the world's population.
  • If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  • The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
  • Flashlight: A case for holding leaking dead batteries.
  • Shin: A device for finding furniture.
  • A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
  • I wish the buck stopped here, I could use a few.
  • When you go to court, you put yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
  • Light travels faster than sound, so some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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