masterwordsmith-unplugged

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never-ending coffee break.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS.

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Some artists from the 1960s are re-releasing their hits with new lyrics to accommodate retirees/senior citizens -- good news, for those feeling a little older and missing those great tunes.

Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker"
The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip"
The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone"
Ringo Starr - "I Get By With A Little Help From Depends"
Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through The Grape Nuts"
Procol Harem - "A Whiter Shade Of Hair"
Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now"
Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Nappin'"
ABBA - "Denture Queen"
Paul Simon - "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver"
Roberta Flack - "The First Time I Ever Forgot Your Face"
Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom"
Rolling Stones - "You Can't Always Pee When You Want
Bobby Darin - "Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash"