Reach out and touch someone's life today!
You can be the difference...and you can make the difference. :-)
I was once a pessimist. I’m not that man anymore. And that change started with a bout of misfortune and the sudden appearance of a little boy.
On a Saturday morning, January 21, 2012, my left arm went numb, and I started to feel dizzy. After I called my doctor, an ambulance arrived in front of my home, in Highland Park, Illinois. An MRI quickly revealed that the lining of my carotid artery had peeled off, preventing blood from flowing to my brain. The doctor said I had a stroke on the way and that we would just have to let it come. There was no stopping it. I stayed at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago for a few days, waiting for the stroke to hit as waves of paralysis came over me. As I slowly lost control of my body, I thought about how unbelievable it was. I was 52. I didn’t even know anyone who’d had this happen to him.
After the stroke (and the two operations that relieved the swelling in my brain), I was transferred to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago (RIC) on February 10. Though I had lost the use of my left arm and leg and couldn’t see out of my left eye, the only thought on my mind was that I needed to leave the hospital and return to my job serving the citizens of Illinois. But the reality was that I needed to relearn how to stand and see first. So there I was, with blood clots forming in my legs, held upright by a track and a harness, trying with all my strength to take one tiny step forward. I had always been a glass-half-empty kind of guy, and this just made me feel like recovery was impossible, like I would never again return to the Senate.
A few days after my first discouraging physical therapy session, my stepmother, Bev, came into my room with a letter. She had the job of poring over countless cards and notes from fellow politicians and strangers alike and was struck by one. It was a neatly typed letter, and the author was a nine-year-old boy named Jackson Cunningham from the central Illinois town of Champaign, my hometown. In the note, Jackson told me about the stroke he’d had only a year earlier. He, too, had been paralyzed on his left side and had made great strides at RIC. But, beyond telling me what he had lost, Jackson shared what I would gain. “Here’s some advice,” Jackson wrote. “Do not give up on yourself. All the hard work is worth it.”
Read more AT THIS LINK.
It has been almost eight years now since I started blogging in May 2008. Through the years, I have seen how the world has turned into a colder and more indifferent place. Yesterday, I drove my son to the hospital for his review with the surgeon and I almost exploded with frustration because of MANY inconsiderate drivers who either hog service roads just to wait for an empty parking lot even though it was clear that no one was leaving, people who double park and obstruct the road, others who overtake on the left at breakneck speed. If anyone can drive in Penang without losing their cool, that person is a saint. To remind myself that there ARE still kind and goodhearted souls in this world, I decided to look for posts which feature hope...not just for people, but for dogs.
Thanks to Angela who sent me this post via email. It is not about Christianity but about living life to the fullest by giving of ourselves to others.
Susan Long meets Dr Tan Lai Yong, medical missionary-turned-university don, who returned to Singapore from Yunnan four years ago,... and hasn't stopped helping the downtrodden since.
WHEN Dr Tan Lai Yong and his wife tied the knot at Bethesda Frankel Estate Church in 1991, they asked for a wedding prayer that made their solemniser do a double-take.
It was a verse from the Book of Proverbs: "Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonour the name of my God."
That, Dr Tan reckons, was the "craziest thing" he has ever done. It set the tone for life thereafter, and liberated him to "step out of the box", again and again.
At 53, the Singaporean doctor has no home to his name. No car. One pair of jeans he lives in. And lots of hand-me-down checked shirts. Lunch is often a loaf of plain bread, wolfed down on the run.
His office at the National University of Singapore's College of Alice & Peter Tan (CAPT) is like a storeroom, crammed with camping gear, bicycles and emergency rations, a habit from 15 years of living in China's earthquake- prone Yunnan province.
Four years after returning here in 2010, he lives the same spartan, spontaneous life of service. Last month, he was hailed in Parliament as a "wandering saint in Singapore", who "is rich in ideas, strong of heart and boundless in energy". Member of Parliament Seah Kian Peng asked for $1 million for Dr Tan to carry out his "oddball" ideas to better society, vouching that he would spend the money well and carefully.
Dr Tan, who has no television set, didn't watch the broadcast. When told his new monicker, his rejoinder is: "I wander about, but am no saint."
While Mr Seah's proposed ground-up initiative warms him, the money leaves him cold. He recounts how, as a medical missionary in south-west China training farmers in basic medical and dental care and running clinics for villagers, he was offered up to half a million dollars in 2007 to scale up his work.
Of course, the big bucks would have enabled him to ramp up much needed cataract and cleft palate operations in the impoverished countryside. But he politely declined, explaining that his village dental programme ran on a mere $20,000 a year. "This sum was beyond what we could handle... We do best when we learn best. With a big bank account behind us, we may not learn so well," he reflects in his stream of consciousness way.
He also felt it would make him detract from his primary mission of "teaching, equipping, encouraging and nudging for changes through values", rather than running his own mass programmes.
Hidden communities
THIS is the man who was presented with numerous awards for his work in China, including one by former Chinese premier Wen Jiabao - and then decided to return to Singapore in late 2010. Reason: He felt that he was being treated "like a VIP" there, which was "dangerous for my soul".
Once back, he re-orientated himself by visiting voluntary welfare groups like the Tsao Foundation, sat in on classes at autism- focused Pathlight School and hung out with migrant worker communities to assess needs here.
Then he enrolled at the Lee Kuan Yew School Of Public Policy to do a master's degree in public administration to better equip himself. Upon graduation in 2012, he spurned "lucrative" offers from health-care players hoping to leverage his experience to grow their China portfolio. Instead he pounced on a "dream job", joining CAPT, a residential college in University Town geared towards community engagement, as a senior lecturer..
He teaches a course called Hidden Communities, which delves into the plight of the elderly who live alone, the difficulties of ex-offenders finding jobs and the living conditions of migrant workers.
A third of the course time involves field trips, including a twilight walk through Bukit Brown to observe grave diggers, weaving through Geylang's lorongs to explore the issue of women stuck in the vice trade, and ferreting about Jurong Fishery Port for the first catch of the day.
At CAPT, where he is director of outreach and community engagement, he regularly hosts meals and visits for disabled or disadvantaged kids on weekends. He and his students throw a frisbee around its lawns with the guests and share their own educational struggles, for example, of repeating O levels. The intended message: University is fun and you have a shot.
An "inclusive" trek to Endau Rompin in Johor that he helped put together for next month will involve 15 Assumption Pathway School students.
The end result he hopes for is not to convert his charges into social workers but that they will "go beyond complaining, see both sides of the picture and get off their soap box". As well as that they will have empathy, as bosses of the future, when an employee says her mother has dementia or his son has autism.
A father's No.1 job
AFTER four years studying the downtrodden and marginalised, Dr Tan concludes that the real scourge afflicting Singaporeans today is loneliness.
Sure, the many programmes targeting hypertension, diabetes and cataracts among the elderly are useful, but what about their creeping sense of loneliness? He's been pondering the fix and concludes that the art of forging friendships must be learnt earlier.
"By the time somebody is 70, talking about making friends, especially for men, is very late," he observes. During visits to Geylang, he notes that most of the elderly Singaporean men huddled in the red light district's coffee shops are not looking for sex. "They are no different from those who hang out at senior day-care centres. They are just there to drink kopi and play games with their friends."
But what troubles him is many teenagers, especially bright boys in top schools who spend their holidays preparing for Olympiads, are desperately lonely too.
"I hang out at swimming pools. Singaporean kids who swim are training for competition. They don't play. Only the foreign kids come and play," he observes. On weekends, he sees the fevered brows of kids in glass-walled tuition centres, while their fathers read newspapers outside.
And he yearns to tell them: "Your No.1 job as a father is to help your children build friendships. Your No.1 job is not to send them to tuition centres."
To encourage more to play with their kids, he started several father-and-son football games islandwide. One programme, that began in 2011 at University Town on Saturday nights, is ongoing. Typically, 30 teens come looking for a game, accompanied by five fathers, which, he feels, is a start.
For six hours a week, he also volunteers at HealthServe, which runs subsidised clinics for needy Singaporeans and foreign workers. He takes the workers on weekly outings to public swimming pools, libraries and parks like Gardens by the Bay "to break down invisible barriers". He helps them buy medicine and resolve employer disputes, as well as persuades them to sign casino self-exclusion forms to safeguard their earnings.
Last year, he even helped to organise a fully foreign worker- starred concert featuring a Bangladeshi band, a PRC (People's Republic of China) choir, Nepalese singers and Bollywood dancers.
In fact, Dr Tan has so many pots on the boil that - anything to do with affirming individuals, building inclusiveness and countering negativity - you name it and he's probably already looking into it and percolating an idea.
Exercise in gratitude
HE GREW up in the gangster-infested Old Kallang Airport area, the seventh child of a Teochew- speaking pirate taxi driver and a Cantonese-speaking seamstress. School was a struggle, especially languages.
His brothers went to Raffles Institution, he went to Siglap Secondary. Despondent, he signed up to be an infantry foot soldier in the army. Then he scored three As - a freak A-level result, he says - and qualified for medical school here on a Public Service Commission scholarship. The young Christian decided, in sheer gratitude, to become a medical missionary.
After getting married at 30, he and his accountant wife, Lay Chin, resisted the shackles of a home mortgage. He also quit his anaesthesia specialisation training midway to avoid a longer bond. And in 1996, they upped and left for mountainous Xishuangbanna, with their 16-month-old daughter Amber.. There, he trained some 500 doctors in impoverished villages to carry out vaccinations, dress wounds, diagnose common ailments, balance their books. He also treated the orphaned, disabled and leprous.
Three years later, their son, Edward, was born. Dr Tan then taught at Kunming Medical College's School of Public Health, set up a Kunming-based Christian medical NGO and brought in many other Singapore doctors to do free surgery in the villages.
In 2010, he decided to come home to raise his teens as Singaporeans, with Singaporean friends who would "see them through life". His son is now in Secondary 4. His 20-year-old daughter, who believes that curing diarrhoea is noble but that the antidote to village illnesses is clean water, is studying engineering at Nanyang Technological University. They live together at the University Town staff quarters.
His valuation of property operates on an entirely different calculus from most Singaporeans. Above all, he values community, rather than exclusivity. He's now looking to buy an HDB flat in a low-income area, where neighbours still leave their doors open and borrow soya sauce from each other, rather than "transient communities where people are just waiting to upgrade".
Whenever he passes a palatial mansion, he asks himself: "Is this house worth six years of my life?" And he concludes No. He thinks the aspiration of living in a landed property with two maids to look after one in retirement is just "unsustainable".
"You don't live in HDB, you die a very lonely man. You live in HDB, you can go down to lim kopi (drink coffee) with your peers," he says in his colloquial way.
The man who believes that "Godliness with contentment is great gain" enjoys life's simplest pleasures most. His indulgences are sleeping early (by 10pm), the serenity of a sunrise run, devouring a book a week, camping twice a year on some nearby isle and a meaty durian.
He muses: "We just need our daily bread and to learn the value of humility."
When I think about Liberia, I'm back in a van with Ernest. He's driving, the van is shuddering, sounding like a just-dropped bag of scrap metal, and I'm somewhere in the chasm of the van's back seats, bobbing, as we ride out the force of the latest pothole.
We spent our days like this, Ernest and I. His job was to shuttle around a group of grad students from Harvard-in the morning, to the government ministries where they interned, and at night, back to a gated, barb-wired compound where they slept. When one of the interns urged her little sister to come join-just pitch an article and come research it-Ernest was saddled with a 25-year-old white American who had places to be only if she could arrange interviews, and zero grasp of what "post-conflict" means for travel.
Mostly, we drove, Ernest and I. I want to say that I can count the number of steps I took in Liberia. What's true is that I could have. On my first, muggy day in the country, when I made it through the dilapidated hangar that was Monrovia's airport and walked toward the blessed outline of my big sister and the white jeep behind her, had I realized that this was about as much walking as a post-conflict zone allowed, I might've begun to count my steps right then. By summer's end, I would have had some number in the hundreds to show how seldom my feet had touched the ground in Liberia.
Ernest was lanky and said very little. On our first day alone together, I spotted a woman on the sidewalk balancing a tray of pale cucumbers on her head-hands free-and marveled aloud, thinking my awe for a Liberian woman might flatter the Liberian man who drove me. Ernest leaned out the window and shouted at her, thinking I wanted a cucumber. The rest of the day, we kept quiet.
Radio voices filled the van. The same radio voice-a woman's-assured us, as Independence Day approached, that fireworks were not the sound of war coming back. Four years out of conflict-a conflict that had claimed more than 200,000 lives, dragged on 14 years, and left the majority of Liberian women victimized by rape-nobody was very used to peace.
Peace was the topic of my article-I owed a magazine 600 words-and Ernest helped me hunt down interviewees, making do with the most bare-bones of directions. No one I called had a complete address; instead, they gave me coordinates. Look for the Gender Ministry. ...Go past Truth and Reconciliation. ...Have you seen the UN building? There was no way to miss the UN Mission in Liberia, then the largest peacekeeping mission in the world. Wrapped in a giant slinky of barbed wire, it looked like a dystopian Hilton.
I didn't ask for Ernest's permission to move to the front of the van; I just climbed into shotgun position one day. He never asked why I kept my notebook open on my lap, copying down every billboard slogan-NEVER AGAIN LIBERIA and REAL MEN DON'T RAPE and EVEN WAR ENDS. I copied them down because I started and then couldn't stop, because signs -- cries for peace -- were all over this city, and because it was a way to map the coalescing city, to get my bearings in a place I would never wander alone.
We had one route: Tubman Boulevard. Ernest looped Tubman endlessly, and so did every Liberian in possession of a vehicle. Traffic was crushing late in the day, and the bands of former boy soldiers selling Fruit Loops and newspapers on the roadsides made the prospect of crossing Tubman on foot even more daunting. When Ernest offered to carry me across in the van, pulling U-turns that made the old car groan and shake, I did not object.
Just sharing two articles about L'Wren Scott and also my observations which I have posted at the end of the two articles. Your comments are appreciated. Thanks!
L'Wren wasted her 12 years of her life on a totally worthless man and then she felt hopeless. Mick Jagger's past is the best indicator of his present behavior. Women have GOT to realize that there are billions of men on the planet and they have to move on when a man does not act right. I agree with you that L'Wren found out she wasn't special and was devastated when she realized Mick is incapable of being a provider or protector. Sadly, L'Wren didn't know how to walk away when it became glaringly apparent that Mick had no intention of committing to her. The lesson for all of us is that we need to have standards and boundaries to ensure that men treat us with dignity and respect (e.g., The Rules).
Here's a very interesting article which Angela shared via email.
Simply amazing and certainly most inspiring.
Excerpt:
Two hundred thousand rotis (Indian flat bread), 1.5 tonnes of dal (lentil soup) and free food served to 100,000 people everyday are what makes the free kitchen run at the Golden Temple in the western Indian city of Amritsar stand apart.
By all measures, the kitchen (called langar in Punjabi ) is one of the largest free kitchens to be run anywhere in the world.
The concept of langars was initiated centuries ago by Guru Nanak, the founder of Sikh religion.
Sunday, November 17, is his 545th birth anniversary.
At the Langar, no one goes hungry - and everybody gets a hot meal regardless of caste, creed and religion.
All Sikh Gurudwaras (places of worship) have langars, but the one at Golden Temple - Sikhs' holiest shrine - has little parallel.
“Anyone can eat for free here and on an average we serve food to 100,000 people. On weekends and special occasions double the numbers of people visit the langar. The langar never stops and on an average 7,000 kg of wheat flour, 1,200 kg of rice, 1,300 kg of lentils, 500 kg of ghee (clarified butter) is used in preparing the meal every day,” says Harpreet Singh, manager of this huge kitchen.
CLICK HERE for more.
A homeless man in Kansas City, Mo., made national headlines more than a week ago when he returned a valuable platinum and diamond engagement ring accidentally dropped into his cup of change by a woman offering some extra cash. Now, hundreds of donors have contributed more than $16,000 to a page on GiveForward.com to help Billy Ray Harris get his life back on track. The man's rewards don't stop with financial help -- the media story helped him connect with a brother in Lubbock, Texas, he hasn't seen in nearly 30 years.
KCTV first did a story on the unintended donation Feb. 9. Sarah Darling had put her engagement ring in her change purse because it was bothering her finger. A chance encounter with Harris on the street led Darling to give the man her loose change. It was only a day later that she realized her engagement ring was missing. When she came back to Harris on the same street, he still had the ring and gave it back to her.
MORE HERE.
Kindness practically has zero costs and yet there are many who may not step forward to show a little bit of kindness to those in need or even to speak kind words to those who are hurting from within. Recently, Angela sent me an article from The Daily Mail about the truly inspiring story of the Chinese rubbish collector who saved and raised THIRTY babies abandoned at the roadside. Here's the story of Lao Xiaoying...
A woman has been hailed a hero after details of her astonishing work with abandoned children has emerged.
Lou Xiaoying, now 88 and suffering from kidney failure, found and raised more than 30 abandoned Chinese babies from the streets of Jinhua, in the eastern Zhejiang province where she managed to make a living by recycling rubbish.
She and her late husband Li Zin, who died 17 years ago, kept four of the children and passed the others onto friends and family to start new lives.
Her youngest son Zhang Qilin - now aged just seven - was found in a dustbin by Lou when she was 82.
'Even though I was already getting old I could not simply ignore the baby and leave him to die in the trash. He looked so sweet and so needy. I had to take him home with me,' she said.
'I took him back to our home, which is a very small modest house in the countryside and nursed him to health. He is now a thriving little boy, who is happy and healthy.
'My older children all help look after Zhang Qilin, he is very special to all of us. I named him after the Chinese word for rare and precious.
'The whole thing started when I found the first baby, a little girl back in 1972 when I was out collecting rubbish. She was just lying amongst the junk on the street, abandoned. She would have died had we not rescued her and taken her in.
'Watching her grow and become stronger gave us such happiness and I realised I had a real love of caring for children.
'I realised if we had strength enough to collect garbage how could we not recycle something as important as human lives,' she explained.
'These children need love and care. They are all precious human lives. I do not understand how people can leave such a vulnerable baby on the streets.
Lou is now dying from kidney failure. She is pictured here with two of the children she helped rescue.