The Fable of Governmentium Ad Infinitum

Posted by M ws On Wednesday, February 22, 2012 4 comments
Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Governmentium.

This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.


These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since it has no electrons, Governmentium is inert.

However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of approximately four years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.

In fact, a Governmentium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass".

You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

-Author Unknown-

*This is a fictitious satirical fable, author unknown. I only changed the paragraphing of this piece which I first posted HERE under a different title.

*Posted for laughs and a grim reminder of the reality before us. I reckon such a scenario will be ad infinitum unless major changes can be made by people power.

Have a nice day.

4 comments to The Fable of Governmentium Ad Infinitum

  1. says:

    achibong A recent study discovered that the state of 1 neutron’s instability is caused by a massive subatomic particle called flomtron. Fused with 1 neutron, flomtron absorbs all available energy in Governmentium causing 1 neutron to be unstable.

    When the absorbed energy reaches a critical mass, flomtron can go into a process called covert nuclear fission, releasing a destructive force similar to that of cyclotrimethylene-trinitramine (C3H6N6O6), otherwise known as C4.

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith *standing ovation*

    Thank you, Achibong!!! Brilliant response!!!

    You made my day!!!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    adie Love it achibong!

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Any addendums, Adie??? :-) Glad you like Achibong's response! Take care and have a restful evening!

    Cheers

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